


Season 1, Episode 6A: Human Nature

by Peaches and RAmen (Peachy00Keen)



Series: Star Trek: Babel [11]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek - Various Authors, Star Trek Online
Genre: Aliens, Andorians, Breakup, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gliesians, Grief/Mourning, Humans, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Other, Science, Science Fiction, Star Trek References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachy00Keen/pseuds/Peaches%20and%20RAmen
Summary: Koltak attempts to comfort Renetta after the events surrounding Makapo IV, but finds that they have much more to learn about both humans and about themself.
Series: Star Trek: Babel [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623328
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Koltak and Renetta sat across from one another on a small stretch of black sand beach, staring out across the waters of the bay, which shone deep violet in the afternoon sun. The holodeck wasn’t a place Koltak typically felt drawn to, but it was clear, even to the Gliesian’s still-limited understanding of how humans functioned, that their friend wanted to be as far from the ship and the Federation as possible. So, they took her home.  
  
“Do you like it?” Koltak asked, interrupting the rhythmic breaking of the waves.  
  
Renetta didn’t respond. Koltak didn’t mind. Silence unless spoken to was the Gliesian way, after all. For humans, however, particularly Renetta, they’d noticed, it was often a sign of discomfort and unease. They were about to ask again when the young woman stood up and closed the few feet of distance she had initially put between them. Even at her full height, Koltak’s shoulders reached almost halfway up her torso. She really was quite small, even for a human. Still, without a word, Renetta sat down in the sand beside the Gliesian and let herself tip over to rest her head against their chest. The gesture took Koltak by surprise.  
  
They froze, glancing around as if something in the landscape might give them a hint as to what was happening. The clue came swiftly from Renetta as she picked up their arm and wrapped it around her shoulders like a blanket. _Contact. Right. They seek contact._ Remembering Commander O’Malley’s strange displays of care and affection, Koltak gave Renetta what they hoped was an encouraging squeeze. Something about the pressure against the young woman’s shoulders seemed to relax her. _Someday_ , the Gliesian thought, pulling the small human closer, _someday, I’ll understand you better._  
  
The waves pushed a shimmering green shell up onto the shore. Renetta reached out and poked at it with her foot. The childish action was endearing, despite the somber circumstances from which it appeared to arise. The androgynous alien nudged the shell closer with one of their feet, reached forward, and picked it up, brushing the sand off of its rippling, opalescent surface. The colors danced and glimmered in the artificial sunlight. _The real thing is even more beautiful, but for a hologram, I am impressed._  
  
“It’s a veridian bice,” Koltak said, just loud enough to be heard over the waves. “See how its shell ripples in the sunlight? Underwater, it functions as camouflage. They usually dwell in shallow waters and tidepools. I used to collect them when I was younger, during peacetime.”  
  
Without a word, Renetta gently took the shell from Koltak’s hands and held it tenderly in her own, examining it in the sun without moving from where she had tucked herself under their arm. She picked up one of Koltak’s hands and held it beside the shell, seemingly comparing the colorful striations of their skin to the rippling shimmers of the bice. Renetta let go of their hand and pulled her knees up to her chest as she straightened her back, still leaning against Koltak for support, and still clutching the shell.  
  
“Why did you bring me here?” Renetta asked, finally deciding to speak.  
  
“You looked like you wanted to get away, so I did the best I could.”  
  
Koltak looked down and tried to catch a covert glimpse of the young woman’s face. Without moving, it was difficult to read her expression, but her nose, cheeks, and ears, were beginning to flood with shades of pink and crimson. A tear fell and rolled down her face.  
  
“Did I misjudge?” the Gliesian asked, suddenly concerned that they had somehow made things worse. “I can end the program if you want, or we can go somewhere else.” _There isn’t a single thing about humans that is straightforward. I just don’t want to make this worse for her._  
  
“No,” she said with a sniffle, wiping her face on her sleeve. “No, I like it here. Thank you. It’s beautiful. I’d stay forever if I could. Sometimes I wish I could. I--” Renetta sat up straight and took off her shoes, burying her feet in the amethyst and charcoal-colored sand. “Words are so hard to find right now, Koltak. I’m sorry.”  
  
The phrase made little sense, but they couldn’t imagine now was really the time to bother Renetta with trivial questions about human expressions. “There’s no need to apologize. While I miss your constant chatter, I’m no stranger to silence.”  
  
“But I don’t want to be silent!” Renetta blurted suddenly, extending her legs and scattering sand everywhere. “I want to scream and cry and just… rip my brain out and throw it into the ocean-- bay… Whatever this body of water is. I’d find the deepest part and just toss it in.”  
  
 _There it is._ The pain in her voice was sharp, but at least words were finally coming out.  
  
Renetta flexed her fingers in the sand, agitation trying to work its way out of her in all directions at once. “You have no idea what it was like down there. I hope nobody ever has to know, not for themselves. But I feel so alone. I have no one to share this pain with. I mean,” she turned and threw a passing glance at Koltak, “I know I have you, and I don’t mean to discount that, but--”  
  
“I know what you mean,” the Gliesian said, pushing her train of thought along.  
  
“David and I broke up. I just… I couldn’t. Every time I looked at him, all I could think of was what happened down there. And everyone has been asking about him. They want to know how he’s doing, if he’s going to be okay, where he is -- I don’t _know_ , okay?!” Renetta stood up, again, spraying sand in every direction. Koltak winced and closed their eyes to avoid the worst of it, but they said nothing. “I don’t know how he feels or if he’s going to see again or what he ate for breakfast! I can’t be bothered to care about that right now, but that’s just it! Nobody asks how _I’m_ doing! Nobody wants to know what’s on _my_ mind or how _I_ feel in the wake of all this!” She stooped over and picked up a flat rock, tossing it angrily out onto the water, where it skipped away for several meters before it skidded to its disappearing point, beneath the waves. Meanwhile, Renetta stood, her head in her hands, sobbing. Through the tears, she continued trying to speak.  
  
“It’s not like I wasn’t there. I wasn’t kept in a separate room while everything happened. I had to watch. I had to listen to him ask for more to keep the monster away from me. I hated him for it. I don’t know why, but it seemed selfish -- of him, I mean. If he’d just been less of a stubborn ass about it, he might still have both eyes. He might still be able to walk.” The broken young woman pushed her hair back out of her face, running her hands through the thick, black waves before gripping them hard at the ends and pulling down hard. “I’m just _impossible_ ,” she screamed. “Because when he finally did cave -- when that _creature_ went for his other eye with that horrible scoop-thing…” She didn’t finish her sentence. She just screamed into her hands and kicked at the sand, sending an explosion of dark grains into the water.  
  
“ _I hated him_ ,” she finally gasped. “I hated him for giving in. I don’t know what I expected, but I hated him for passing it off to me. It wouldn’t have been the same. He wouldn’t have had to watch. He didn’t watch. He just passed out. So I had to watch him go through everything and then go through all of my own torture. But I don’t have scars. I don’t have missing eyes or useless limbs. No, I look _fine_.” Renetta was shaking. Her knees gave way and she dropped to the ground. Each hand clawed into the wet sand at the edge of the water. “I look fine, but I’m _not_.” She sniffed, her voice straining against the tears. “ _I’m not_.”  
  
Koltak sat on the beach, looking on helplessly as Renetta broke down, her thoughts and trauma consuming her there in the surf. _What do I do?_ The sobs turned into screams of agony, and those, in turn, faded back to defeated wails, then to whimpers. Still, Koltak sat frozen in place, completely at a loss for how to help the one person who was the closest thing she had to family anywhere in the galaxy. The Gliesian’s heart began to race as panic settled in. _What do I do?!_  
  
Renetta stood up, her forearms covered in sand and her hair a matted mess. “I need to go,” she said in a quiet, broken voice. “I’m sorry.” The black-haired woman turned and called for the door. She left, abandoning her shoes, Koltak, and the echoes of her cries there on the shores of Gulbak Bay.


	2. Chapter 2

Koltak was sweating, and with each passing second, their breath grew shallower and their airways tightened. _Just a little farther_. Four decks back, they’d ripped off their combadge and thrown it in one of the many junctions within the Jefferies Tube network. The Gliesian didn’t want to be found, but more importantly, they didn’t want to be heard.  
  
Several minutes later, the science officer had managed to get themselves thoroughly lost in the maze that was _Babel_ ’s service conduit network. As far as they could tell, they were close to the engines, and about as near to the loudest part of the ship as they could safely get. Winded and very near the breaking point, Koltak sat down and leaned back against the wall of the maintenance shaft. They clenched their fists. No one could see them like this. No one would. Alone and drowned out by the hum of the engines, Koltak threw their head back and screamed at the top of their lungs. Rage, pain, frustration, confusion, and everything else they didn’t know enough about to categorize, it all came flooding out at once. They wanted to break something, to hurt whoever had done these things back on Makapo IV. Koltak wanted to find them and kill them, personally, with their bare hands. Violent, angry thoughts filled their mind. Instinct blazed against every barrier the Gliesian had built up against them. Years of cultivated patience and quietude scorched to nothingness in an instant. This soldier wanted revenge. They wanted to inflict pain and suffering in the name of those who had been hurt. They wanted nothing more than to show the sickening slime that had tortured two innocent officers just how much pain a single body could feel. Koltak’s blood boiled with murderous intent.  
  
Wide-eyed and chest heaving, Koltak felt the urge to fight consume them. Gliesian instinct was strong, and the adrenaline that coursed through their veins told them that now was the time to fight. The target was unknown, unidentified, and likely light-years away by now, but that changed nothing. The dense, sapphire blue nails on their tense, curled fingers dug into the metal plating of the maintenance shaft flooring. The textured flooring tore into their flesh, but the pain merely fueled the fire raging within. Whoever had done this would pay for it with their life.  
  
How long she had been there or how she’d arrived without being heard, the Gliesian had no idea, but the sudden appearance of another living being was a nearly fatal surprise.  
  
“Koltak?” Thriss said, lowering her phaser. “What are you doing all the way out here?”  
  
 _Panic_.  
  
Koltak was, once again, glued to the spot, unable to move or process what was happening. _Don’t attack. Do not attack. Calm down. Too much._ Hasty, quelling commands were all the Gliesian’s mind could manage. They’d been caught, and they didn’t know how to stop things.  
  
“Hey, are you okay?” Thriss looked concerned now, setting down her phaser as she crept closer, hunched over to fit her tall Andorian frame in the cramped tube.  
  
 _You could take her,_ an unwelcome voice in Koltak’s mind suggested. _You’re larger and probably stronger. Take it out on her._ The tone of the voice shifted to a more familiar one. It was a voice Koltak hadn’t heard in a long time. _If your skills go unused, you’ll be weak. Useless. Stand up and fight for once in your life_. The Gliesian’s arm twitched. Thriss noticed immediately.  
  
“I don’t know what’s going on, Koltak, but you’re not going to want to take a swing at me. Trust me.”  
  
 _They’re bluffing!_ The familiar voice was back. _Strike now!_  
  
“No…” Koltak closed their eyes as the muscles in their arm spasmed again. “Stop it…” Thriss’ shuffling footsteps came closer. The Gliesian found a protruding support beam and took hold of it, gripping as hard as they could. A hand touched their wrist and Koltak’s entire body convulsed, somewhere between a flinch and a call to attack. The reaction was immediate. Thriss’ grip tightened around the Gliesian’s wrist and her forearm pressed against their collarbone.  
  
“Koltak--” her plea was interrupted by another convulsion. “Koltak, dammit, look at me!”  
  
 _Stop! Stop!_ Panic consumed them. Why had they let it out? The instinct to fight was a part of them that, once in command, was almost impossible to subdue. _You didn’t know anyone would find you._  
  
“Open your damn eyes and _look_ at me!” Thriss leaned against her pressuring forearm, sending Koltak off balance. “I can tell you’re trying to fight whatever is in your head, not me, so look at _me._ ”  
  
Koltak forced one ice-blue eye open. Then the other. Thriss had managed to pin Koltak against the wall of the Jefferies Tube, using just enough force to immobilize them.  
  
“I don’t know what’s going on, but we’ll handle that later.” Her concern began to fade as Koltak met her gaze. “Can I let you go now?” The Gliesian nodded, and the Andorian woman released her hold. “If you start twitching like that again, I’ll stop you, but I am not here to fight you.”  
  
Koltak shook their head as the impulsive urge to strike reluctantly gave way to better sense. “No. No fighting.” Their temples ached. Everything from the neck up felt like it was being pinched in a vise. “I don’t want to fight.”  
  
Thriss rocked back and reached into her pocket, producing a Starfleet combadge. “I believe this is yours,” she said, holding it out.  
  
Embarrassed, Koltak took it and pinned the badge back onto their uniform. “Yes, it is.”  
  
“Why did you take it off?”  
  
“I didn’t want to be found.”  
  
“You didn’t want to be found or you didn’t want to be interrupted?”  
  
The Gliesian hesitated, reason fighting impulse once again. “Both.”  
  
Thriss sighed and sat down. “Koltak, what are you doing up here? You have no business being this deep in the Jefferies Tubes, and you certainly have no business removing your combadge.”  
  
“I know!” they snapped, flinching at the sound of their own voice. “I know… I just needed a safe place.”  
  
“Why didn’t you just go to your quarters? Your bunkmate is still on duty for another few hours yet, isn’t he?”  
  
“It was too risky. Someone could have come in.”  
  
“If you needed to fight something, _Babel_ has a gym--”  
  
“ _No._ ” Koltak interrupted, all parts of their mind speaking in unison. “You don’t understand…” _I don’t belong here. This proves it. I don’t fit in. There’s no place for someone like me here._  
  
Thriss said nothing for a moment. She simply watched. Koltak glared, and the Andorian woman smiled. “I think I understand more than you know.”  
  
Koltak gave her an incredulous look, the frills along their skull flattening in response.  
  
“How much do you know about Andorians?”  
  
“Not much. Mostly what the biology textbooks had to say. That holds for just about any Federation species aside from humans.” Koltak thought about Renetta and felt the anger and confusion stir again.  
  
“Well, if you look through the history textbooks, you’ll see that Gliesians and Andorians have a pretty violent history in common. It was as much an honor to us as it was a sport.”  
  
“There is no honor in battle for us,” Koltak corrected sharply. “It’s merely a fact of life. It’s instinct.”  
  
“Either way, I can tell you’re at odds with your history.”  
  
“It’s why I left.”  
  
“It’s what brought both of us here.”  
  
Koltak looked down at the floor. There were marks where their nails had dug into the metal. They were only scuff marks, but they were still painfully obvious in contrast to the Starfleet-issue neatness of everything else. “You belong here, though. I don’t. You wouldn’t understand.”  
  
“Then help me understand.” Thriss sighed and moved closer, turning to sit with her back against the wall, mirroring the Gliesian. “For someone who so obviously longs to fit in, you make things so difficult for yourself.”  
  
The larger of the two blue aliens shook their head. “I don’t understand.”  
  
“You want to belong here. You want to understand what makes people tick, and yet you so thoroughly close yourself off to everyone who tries to get near you, nobody knows how to handle you, and you have no idea how to handle them.”  
  
The urge to get defensive was too much to resist. “That isn’t true.”  
  
“Isn’t it?” Thriss folded her arms across her chest. “Alright, why did you crawl from the middle of _Babel_ all the way to the far reaches of the aft section just to scream against the sound of the engines?”  
  
Koltak looked pointedly at the ground.  
  
“Yeah. I may not be an expert on social interactions, but that’s not how most people handle stressful situations. A tempting option for sure, but most of us seek out a friend instead.”  
  
“I… Don’t have many of those.”  
  
“And so we return to the original argument.” Thriss leaned forward and placed a hand on Koltak’s arm. “You don’t have to be alone here, you know. I have yet to find anyone on this ship who is willing to discriminate against someone else just because they’re big and blue.”  
  
The Andorian’s quip made Koltak smile. They might be the only Gliesian in Starfleet, but Thriss did have a point: They weren’t completely alone out here. The hand on their arm drew their attention downward. “Thriss, I do have a question.”  
  
“I’d guess you probably have several, but we can start with one.”  
  
“Why do humans always need so much touching?”


	3. Chapter 3

Thriss and Koltak emerged from one of the service hatches on Deck Twenty-Five, and both crewmen immediately stood straight and stretched their backs.  
  
“Don’t ever make me chase you through the Jefferies Tubes again,” Thriss said with a grunt as several of her vertebrae let out a series of relieved pops. “And if you ever want to sit down and talk about social nuances or anything else, might I suggest somewhere a little less cramped, like Ten Forward or a cargo bay.”  
  
Koltak felt slightly embarrassed by the realization that they hadn’t once considered Thriss’ comfort. “I suppose I couldn’t have picked a much smaller place to have a conversation, though I hadn’t exactly planned on having one there in the first place.”  
  
Thriss tossed a friendly elbow jab at the Gliesian. “Hey, that was almost humor. If one little chat has gotten you this far, by the end of the week, you ought to be a pro.” Koltak looked doubtful, but Thriss pressed on, her tone now matter-of-fact. “I’m glad you felt comfortable opening up to me, both about yourself and about what happened with Renetta. Adjusting to any new environment can be a challenge, but I hope you know now that you don’t have to do it alone. It’ll get easier, I promise.”  
  
“Could we…” Koltak began, trailing off as hesitation got the better of them. Thriss, who had turned and begun heading toward the nearby turbolift, stopped and faced her friend again.  
  
“Get lunch?” Thriss offered, finishing the thought. “Absolutely. Tomorrow, I’ll meet you in Ten Forward after my shift.” She smiled. “Thanks for the invitation. I look forward to it.”  
  
It took a moment for Koltak to recover. By the time they had, Thriss had already disappeared into the turbolift with a wave goodbye.  
  
_Thank you._

  


**The adventures of the _USS Babel_ will continue...**


End file.
